WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT RETIREMENT (From Someone Who's Watched People Navigate It)

The money conversation is the easy part.

It's the other stuff—the stuff that doesn't show up in financial projections—that catches people off guard.

After a decade of helping Australians transition into retirement, I've noticed patterns. Not in spreadsheets, but in conversations six months, one year, three years after people retire.

Let me share what I wish everyone knew before they handed in their resignation.

THE IDENTITY CRISIS NO ONE WARNS YOU ABOUT

Mark was a senior executive. Respected. Busy. Important.

Six months after retirement, his wife called me. Not about money—about Mark. He was lost. Withdrawn. The structure that had defined him for 35 years was gone.

"I thought retirement would feel like freedom," he told me later. "Instead, it feels like irrelevance."

This is more common than people realise. When your identity is wrapped up in your career, retirement can feel like losing yourself.

The people who transition best? They build their "retirement identity" BEFORE they leave work:

- They develop hobbies and interests unrelated to their career - They build social connections outside of work - They create structure and purpose before they need it - They retire TO something, not just FROM something

Financial planning is crucial. But "life planning" might be even more important.

Action point: If you retired tomorrow, what would you do on Tuesday? If your answer is "I don't know," you're not ready—regardless of your bank balance.

THE RELATIONSHIP REALITY CHECK

"We've been married 32 years. We'll be fine."

That's what Linda said when they were planning retirement. Twelve months later, she sat in my office asking about dividing super assets.

The divorce rate for couples over 50 has doubled in recent decades. And retirement is a significant trigger.

Why? Because you go from: - Seeing each other 3-4 hours a day - Having independent routines and social circles - Defined roles and separate spaces

To: - 24/7 proximity - Undefined expectations - Competing for the same space and time

One wife told me: "I married him for better or worse, but not for lunch every day."

The couples who thrive in retirement: → Discuss expectations before retiring (not after) → Maintain some independence and separate interests → Create new shared goals and experiences → Give each other space

Financial stress absolutely contributes to relationship breakdown. But so does lack of planning for the relationship transition itself.

Action point: Have the honest conversations now. What does each person's ideal retirement look like? Where do those visions align? Where do they conflict?

THE HEALTH WAKE-UP CALL

"I'll work until 67, then travel the world."

That was John's plan. At 63, he had a stroke. Mild, thankfully, but enough to change everything.

Travel insurance became prohibitively expensive. Some destinations were now off-limits. The "adventure retirement" he'd worked 40 years for had a much shorter window than he thought.

Here's an uncomfortable truth: your healthiest retirement years are usually your earliest ones.

The gap between "retirement age" and "health complications" is narrowing. According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, the average Australian develops their first chronic health condition in their mid-60s.

Yet most people delay retirement thinking "I'll do it when I'm really ready."

But "ready" often arrives exactly when your body isn't.

I'm not suggesting everyone retire at 60. But I am suggesting you consider:

- What experiences require good health? - What's the cost of waiting vs. going earlier? - Do you have adequate health and income protection insurance?

The people with the fewest regrets? They frontload their retirement. They do the physically demanding bucket list items first. They don't assume they'll have unlimited time.

Action point: List your retirement goals. Now sort them by physical requirements. What needs to happen in your 60s vs. your 70s?

THE BOREDOM NO ONE ADMITS TO

"I've been looking forward to retirement for 15 years. Now I'm bored."

This confession comes up more than you'd think. Usually around month 4-6.

The golf gets old. The garden is done. The house is renovated. Netflix is exhausted.

Now what?

Australians are retiring earlier and living longer. You could have 30+ years of retirement. That's a LONG time without purpose or structure.

The happiest retirees I know have: → Part-time work or consulting (on their terms) → Volunteer commitments that provide purpose → Learning goals (courses, languages, skills) → Community involvement → Mentoring or giving back

Notice what's not on that list? Consumption. Leisure. Relaxation.

Those things are great—in moderation. But they don't create lasting fulfilment.

The retirement myth is that happiness comes from NOT working. But research consistently shows that people with purpose, contribution, and structure are happier.

You're not retiring from work. You're retiring TO something else. What's that something?

Action point: Design your "retirement week." What does Monday look like? Thursday? Saturday? If they all look the same, you might struggle.

THE MONEY ANXIETY THAT DOESN'T GO AWAY

"Do we have enough?"

This question doesn't disappear when you retire—it often intensifies.

I've had clients with $2 million in super still anxious about money. Because retirement removes your financial safety net:

- No more regular pay cheque - No more "I can just work more if needed" - No more earning years to fix mistakes - You're drawing down, not building up

The psychological shift from accumulation to decumulation is massive.

What helps: → A clear, detailed spending plan (not a vague budget) → Regular financial reviews (quarterly or annually) → Buffer strategies for market volatility → Permission to spend (sounds odd, but many retirees under-spend and under-live)

I've seen people with insufficient funds spend confidently and people with abundant funds live in scarcity. The difference? Planning and psychological comfort.

Your retirement quality isn't just about how much you have—it's about your confidence in your plan.

Action point: What would make you feel financially secure in retirement? A number? A guaranteed income? A plan? Professional oversight? Identify it, then create it.

THE REGRET I HEAR MOST OFTEN

"I wish I'd done this sooner."

Not "I wish I'd saved more" (though that comes up).

Not "I wish I'd invested differently."

The biggest regret? Waiting too long to start living.

Staying in jobs they hated for "just a few more years." Delaying experiences until health made them impossible.* Sacrificing present happiness for future security that never felt secure enough.

There's wisdom in working longer if you enjoy it. There's wisdom in building a bigger buffer.

But there's also wisdom in recognising that time is your most finite resource.

You can always earn more money. You can't earn more time.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Retirement planning is about money. But retirement LIVING is about so much more.

The best retirement outcomes happen when people plan for: - Financial security (obviously) - Identity and purpose - Relationships and social connection - Health and physical capability - Structure and meaning

These aren't financial planning conversations. They're life planning conversations.

But they're just as important.

If you're approaching retirement and you've only planned the money, you're planning for about 30% of what actually matters.

What does YOUR complete retirement plan look like?

This article provides general information only and does not consider your specific circumstances. Before making investment decisions, consider speaking with a licensed financial adviser.